what more can i say?

when you talk to yourself, what do you say and who are you talking to? it gets late and i'm all alone, i start voicin' things to myself as a parent. it gets even later, i start talkin' to the technology that's keepin' me floatin' out of dream world. chidin' the participants of informercials for their choices. commentin' on the nursing home speed of my stovetop cookin' late night beans. and pleadin' with my computer to help me finish up somethin' that shoulda gotten started months back, young man.

wait a second, that's somethin' my mom would say. how did she do that?

mom's are like vampires, yo.

montreal, qc, 2000

mr. mark turned down late night term papers for late night bloggin'. the skillz that pay the billz, y'all.

dis revolution

everyone should think about investing in technology. in particular, digital cameras since it's so puzzling what happens to photos over time.

montreal, quebec, 2001

yo, is there any way mr. mark can harness the power of tears?

que eso

you can tell a lot about a country by their tourist industry. where in da world are they directin' people to travel? now, there are many reasons to love canada. but if the superbowl existed up there, you'd get cats comin' off the field and being asked what they're gonna do now that they won. betcha bottom dollar that disneyworld ain't gonna be on that list. in a heavy québécois accent, famed quarterback "ma" boucher would yell, "i'm going to cuba" followed by images of nfl players sugar canin' and rummin' it up revolutionary style. i love my northern neighbors for givin' me that fantasy.

or maybe i'm just jealous 'cause i'm not allowed to get my butt on the big isle south of disneyworld. you a punk, uncle sam.

montreal, quebec, 2000

mr. mark is being forced into a family vacation at mt. rushmore this year. he plans on ruining it by sulking.

so fresh, so clean

i was 8 when i stopped going to my local barber. he was vietnamese and always performed a straight up operation. in 1987, i went in and surprised him by asking for an ollie cut- a crewcut style from the 50's, dog. 5 minutes in and some hair chopped, he asked "so you like oliver north, do you?" maybe i should've asked for the noriega.

montreal, quebec, 2002

couffure pour hommes no longer sits on st. laurent. gettin' harder these days to point to the sign and say "make me look as orwellian as possible."

come clean

i like that seinfeld cat.  my girl and i were gonna go see him.  took a read of this promotional piece in the local paper.  i got a little suspect when i spotted the bottom left photo.  i had a feeling they were gonna pull a kamp krusty on us.  

montreal, quebec, 2001

as a result, mr. mark is no longer with that girl.  she was a faker too.